Satya Murthy

from: http://gamerpaper.com/index.php

1.It would be embarrassing if she were better at video games than you. Here you envisioned long co-op jaunts crusading against alien invasions, teaching her to play Portal by romantically holding her hands over the controller, and getting cozy while sniping from a bunker in Call of Duty, but here she is, curb-stomping your face over and over in Gears of War multiplayer. You don’t even have to wait to wear that pink sweater she bought you for your birthday to be emasculated.

2. If you are better at video games than her, you will fight every time you give in to her pleas to play together. There are plenty of girls out there that play games. But playing does not imply winning. Ever. Even girls that identify themselves as gamers can be totally inept at video games. She may love playing the easy level campaigns at a nice slow pace, but when you catch her at every spawn point on the multiplayer board and snipe her before she even moves, she’ll start to cry. For some reason.

3. You will never, ever get to play single player campaign again. It’ll always be "oh, we never get to do anything together, let’s play co-op" and then she’ll insist on using Convenant weapons because "they are purple and pretty."

4. She will always be misled by beginner’s luck on beat-em-ups. Girls don’t understand the relationship of button-mashing with beat-em-ups; that is, if you do it, you win. A few button-mash wins will cause them to think they’re skilled players, but once she starts trying to learn the moves, you’ll crush her every time, and she’ll cry again (see #2).

5. She does it for the dudes. Maybe this girl actually likes to play video games. And maybe someday I’ll live in a bouncy castle and eat hamburgers for every meal. But she does it mainly because guys think it’s cool, and is actually terrible at video games (see #2 and #4). This girl probably also "likes" football, baseball, basketball, paintball, beer, violent movies involving zombies, and firearms, but knows absolutely nothing about them.

6. She says she’s a gamer, but what she means is about ten years ago, she used to make a Sim of herself WooHoo with a Sim of her crush, and then set his Sim house on fire. This girl is not actually a gamer, and is, in all likelihood, insane.

7. She says she’s a gamer, but the only games she plays are on PopCap and other websites.Not only will she waste your time by getting you addicted to some niblet of a game like Kitten Cannon, she actually thinks this is gaming, which means she’s just a terribly confused human being.

8. She’ll really put the RPG in MMORPG. Running around as a naked night elf damsel-in-distress who’s had her armor stolen and getting attention from the Stormwind sausagefest will be all well and good in the game, but ask her to do it in the bedroom and then there’s just something WRONG with you.

9. If your girlfriend is playing video games with you, there is no one to bring you sandwiches and energy drinks. And if she stays the night and you both are awake until 3 AM playing Call of Duty, there is no one to wake up and make pancakes. Already you’re out two meals. Do you want to starve to death?

10. If your girl gamer fits none of these descriptions, that means she is probably also a supermodel and a rocket scientist, and is therefore a perfect human being. You do not deserve her and will eventually break up, but video games and sex will be inextricably linked in your mind forever after all those games of Strip TF2, and you won’t be able to turn on your console without getting a boner. Happy gaming!
Written by GamerPaper’s favourite girl gamer, Casey Johnston!

Online dating has risks and rewards and happiness depends a lot on how you approach the process, writes Amy Minsky

Tricia Smith has dated online for several years and says she prefers to meet soon after making contact online.

Photograph by: Wayne Cuddington, The Ottawa Citizen, Canwest News Service

The "perfect" date was a long time coming. After spending months online getting to know Josh, Annie decided he was her type and she was ready to meet him.

But Annie, not her real name, found that happiness could turn into heartbreak almost as quick as the click of a mouse.

She became increasingly anxious after plans to meet Josh were set, but when the day came and the date got underway, her nervousness melted away. The date was, in Annie’s words, "quite perfect."

The second date was less so. Instead of picking up where the first date left off, Josh took a bold step forward and discussed sexual fantasies. At Annie’s urging, conversation eventually returned to topics she felt were more fitting for a second date. Feeling the last half of that date was again "quite perfect," Annie was pretty confident when the two parted ways and said, "see you soon."

But Josh must have been on a different page. Not long after that second date, Josh called Annie, told her he’d met someone else around the same time and "decided to go with that instead." They never saw each other again.

This isn’t the only time Annie, 26, would spend months online with one man, only to be rejected shortly after meeting them in person.

"You start to wonder," Annie says. "Maybe I’m not worth it. Maybe I’m not good enough."

Annie is one of millions of people who have relocated their search for love — or lust — from the streets to the Internet. Her profile was on eHarmony, a site that boasts 20 million registered users from more than 200 countries.

Twenty million profiles is a lot of choice — and a lot of opportunities to get burned.

No one, save maybe for the masochists among us, likes rejection. Rejection hurts. And as Internet dating has become destigmatized over the past several years, millions of people have started casting nets into the massive, virtual online sea. Sure, these dating waters can offer a new world of opportunities for someone’s romantic life. But they can also open the door to new ways of being rejected.

An increasing number of clients who visit Montreal-based psychotherapist Cerise Morris come to her with stories of their online dating escapades.

She has heard countless tales of pain and suffering, and of joy and laughter. Morris says if you get attached too quickly, she said, you could be setting yourself up to be hurt.

In Annie’s mind, the man she is chatting with and sending messages to is part of her life.

"For me, I’ll only meet someone I’m genuinely interested in," she says. "So when I’m communicating with someone and we’re messaging, and we’ve been doing that for a few months, I’m really trying to get to know the person."

This approach to online dating — where you feel as though you’re getting to know someone and they’ve become a part of your life — is one that’s likely to land your ego in the dumps, Morris warns. When two people get in touch online, neither should feel as though they’re in a relationship or that they’re getting to know the other person, she says.

"There’s something ephemeral about communicating that way, without being face-to-face," Morris says, explaining that an Internet-based relationship can often be fleeting and illusory.

"Somewhere in that cyber world, people are more free to try and say things they wouldn’t otherwise," she says. "Who you are online can be very different than who you are in real life."

Tricia Smith, 35, has been dating online for several years. She says she doesn’t have a single tale of rejection from her years on Lavalife or Plenty of Fish.

Sure, she has had surprises, but she takes it all in stride, she said. She’s able to do this, she said, because she approaches online dating with "realistic frame of mind," and doesn’t hold any expectations for people she doesn’t know.

When Smith is contacted through her online profile, she never spends much time sending messages back and forth with a man.

"You don’t get to know anything about a person that way," she said. "We’ve all got egos and vanity. Everybody will look as good as they can, sound as smart and witty as possible and, basically, put their best foot forward."

With this in mind, Smith said she prefers to meet up in a face-to-face date as quickly as possible. Then she will decide if she likes him.

"There’s no point in spending so much time with messages and chats," she said. "You need to realize that guy who looks like he’s gorgeous and has an amazing body… that photo can be five years old," she says. "He might have a massive spare tire and lost all his hair in the meantime."

And the fallacies can go beyond physical appearances, Smith said.

"It happens a lot of the time, where people come off amazing in e-mails and instant messages, but then their personality totally falls flat when you get to them in person," she said.

"When you read something they write, you might think it’s a sarcastic joke because that’s how your mind works. But really, that person was serious, they’re a bigot, and you actually find them quite offensive."

Smith’s realistic approach to online dating is echoed in the guidance and advice Morris often gives her clients.

"Meeting someone in the flesh is so important," Morris said. "In person, there are so many cues we pick up. When the Internet is standing between two people, neither has the opportunity to pick up on body language or pheromones or anything."

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Steps to Online Dating Success

Here are some points to keep in mind while travelling through the online dating circuit:

- If you find someone’s profile interesting, send them an e-mail. If you don’t get an answer, you can send them another within a few days. If they still don’t get back to you, let it go and move on to the next person.

- Casually chatting with a few people online at the same time isn’t taboo. If you prefer chatting with one person at a time, consider mentioning it to the person you’re communicating with.

- It is considered taboo to leave your profile active once you’ve started dating someone. When things start to look serious, remove your profile.

- Don’t plan three dates before you’ve even had one. Try not to make any commitments before actually meeting a person. If it turns out the person’s not exactly your cup of tea, you can end up hurting them when you break the plans.

- The adage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" stands in the online world. Even though you’re communicating through tubes and satellites, you’re still communicating with real people who have real feelings.

- Don’t forget there are dishonest people online. Sometimes married people pose as singles; people can lie about their sex, sexual orientation, age, weight and height … for a couple of examples.

- Also, don’t forget if you lie, you’ll probably get caught. Your date will likely notice the six-inch difference in height and 30 pounds in weight.

- Beware of online predators who join dating sites to leach personal information.

- Most sites have a membership fee that’s required to gain full access to the site. Some offer free trial periods, but begin charging without notice once the trial period ends.

- Check the ratio of men to women on different sites you’re considering joining. Sometimes the gender ratio can be pretty off-balance.

- Some sites have been rumoured to have "bait profiles." These are fake profiles set up to lure users into using a particular service.

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