So the conclusion is????

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The Create Yourself – Create Change film and tool kit is an interactive learning resource for teachers and young people. It was produced by a young social entrepreneur Shivani Mair from The Careers Surgery, in order to stimulate a passion and around ethical business. It captures the unique stories, challenges, triumphs and advice of five top young social entrepreneurs in the UK recognised by the governments Office of the Third Sector & UnLtd.
The real- life stories of Emma Speigler, Duane Melius, Lotty Cunningham, Ash Rahman and Laura Burgess (all aged 19 -27) all demonstrate that success can be found using unconventional methods and is a reminder of the amazing achievements young people can make when given a chance.
The Create Yourself tool kit is aimed at inspiring young people aged 14-25 and support the new GCSE social enterprise modules as well as empower the next generation.
To find out more and order your copies call The Careers Surgery team on 0845 519 1063 0845 519 1063 or email contact@creativecareerssurgery.com with Create DVD info /orders

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To win a Man’s heart – 5

To win a Woman’s heart – 5000$

Oh and I found some really interesting stuff on the web – http://www.ehow.com/how_2319621_win-mans-heart.html

http://love.ivillage.com/lnsunderstandmen/whathewants/0,,pvc8,00.html 

http://www.ehow.com/how_2226594_win-womans-heart.html

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I have this conversation at least once a week.  Some visitor to my site on financing startups spends a couple of hours reading all, or most of it, and decides to call me up. The conversation then, almost invariably, goes like this.

Caller: Hi, I read your site. It’s fantastic, by the way. Look, we’ve been trying to raise X dollars for over 6 months now, without any luck, and we’re starting to get desperate.

Can you help us raise X dollars?

Me: Well, it doesn’t really work that way in real life. Raising money is actually all about relationships and personal trust. Let me put it this way. You have three basic financing options out there.

The first and best bet consists of your former investors. These are people who gave you money in a previous deal and made off like bandits as a result. They know you, trust you, and believe in you.

Caller: Hey! That makes perfect sense.

Me: Your next best bet consists of the "3Fs", otherwise known as "family, friends, and fools".  This group includes dad, mom, uncle Ziggy, your Yale "frat bro" Chipper Drysdale III, and anyone else foolish enough to fall for your pitch (e.g., your dentist).

Caller: Got it!

Me: The final option is to get creative and do what most of the great entrepreneurs did at the beginning when they were in your shoes and couldn’t raise a dollar either. This third option is what my Smart Startup Guide teaches you how to do. It teaches you how the greats started with minimal or no capital. It goes into great detail about their strategy and tactics.

Caller: Well, I’ll be danged! Wish I had known all this 6 months ago.

Me: So, Mister Caller, let me ask you if you have any previous investors whom you made rich and who trust you?

Caller: Ahh, no I don’t. I have never made money for anyone. This will be my first business.

Me: Hmm, okay, let’s work our way down the list. What about the 3Fs? Do you have any family, friends, or dentists who would be willing to gamble their savings on you simply because they like you?

Caller: Ahh, no I don’t. My family is not rich and I didn’t graduate from an Ivy League school.

Me: Hmm, well then you need to forget about raising any outside money for the time being. Instead look at devising an alternate strategy for launching your business. You need to show potential investors that you have what it takes to create some cashflow first. Then they might take you seriously enough to invest.

Caller: Wow, I never knew any of this stuff. This explains why we haven’t been able to raise any money with our business plan despite 6 months of pounding on doors and doing "dog and pony shows" for angels and venture capitalists.

Me:  Yes, it does explain it. Investors only invest in entrepreneurs they know and trust–or those who have proven the viability of their idea with actual cashflow.

Caller: Sure looks that way.

[There's usually a short pause here before the final question.]

So, can you help us raise X dollars then?

~

At this point I usually feel like banging my head down on the desk. So if you are tempted to call me about helping you to raise capital, please don’t. I wrote the Smart Startup Guide for people who have wasted 6 to 18 months of their lives in a futile capital pursuit. After this much time they have either become realists or quit. But both finally understand that a business plan alone means little to investors. So feel free to invest or not invest in the Guide, but please don’t call me about helping you to raise money.

I decided to post this because the number of entrepreneurial wannabes who waste 6 to 18 months chasing capital with nothing more than a business plan is absolutely staggering. They might as well just stay at home for the same period buying lottery tickets. The odds of success are about the same.

So what’s the take home here? First-time entrepreneurs should focus on proving that they can generate some cashflow first. The investors will follow. Don’t fall for the hype from the business plan industry which tries to fool you into thinking that all you need is a well-written plan.

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• If you cant look at other entrepreneurs and learn – then don’t look at them. Jealousy (or self pity) will kill you in this business!
• When you look at facebook and twitter, your imagination must run wild… you heart might say, I wish I could come up with an idea like that. Well here is the truth – don’t try and create something for the entire world – break it down. Remember the British – divide and conquer!
• Companies like facebook were never created for the world – they tried to address a small, specific need – and it just happened to become big. And – NO – it didn’t happen overnight!
• I see most entrepreneurs trying to sell the product before its fully functional or useful! Give it some time – its good to talk about it – but pls for gods sake don’t spam the networking sites, your friends and families mail boxes.
• Don’t copy – After the success of FB and twitter, there came some 100 scripts which can the do the same – what’s the point? Its good to have a niche social networking site about cats or fashion or women in games or what not – but thinking that you can replicate the success of twitter and FB or MySpace is madness – you will end up like orkut – neither dead or alive!
• Don’t burn yourself – if you are making a decent salary and working for someone –great – keep doing that until you really really have to quit! thinking that you can survive on the revenue from adsense is crazy talk!
• Say yes to venture capitalists – money in all forms is good – if a VC is ready to fund you, I’d say take it! Don’t listen to people telling you about “how VCs will take the control away” that’s nonsense! Having that extra $ or Rupee in your pocket will only help you be a little bolder and experiment with you company/product. Remember, you want to stay alive in today’s business – keep reinventing your products/ideas.
• Lastly – marry as many people as you can in your business, its good to have people who believe in you and can advise you in crappy times. You will need more than a couple of shoulders to cry on if you are an entrepreneur – that’s how this game is!

Don’t take on the world all at once, take once city/district/state/country at a time! My 2 cents!

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1.It would be embarrassing if she were better at video games than you. Here you envisioned long co-op jaunts crusading against alien invasions, teaching her to play Portal by romantically holding her hands over the controller, and getting cozy while sniping from a bunker in Call of Duty, but here she is, curb-stomping your face over and over in Gears of War multiplayer. You don’t even have to wait to wear that pink sweater she bought you for your birthday to be emasculated.

2. If you are better at video games than her, you will fight every time you give in to her pleas to play together. There are plenty of girls out there that play games. But playing does not imply winning. Ever. Even girls that identify themselves as gamers can be totally inept at video games. She may love playing the easy level campaigns at a nice slow pace, but when you catch her at every spawn point on the multiplayer board and snipe her before she even moves, she’ll start to cry. For some reason.

3. You will never, ever get to play single player campaign again. It’ll always be "oh, we never get to do anything together, let’s play co-op" and then she’ll insist on using Convenant weapons because "they are purple and pretty."

4. She will always be misled by beginner’s luck on beat-em-ups. Girls don’t understand the relationship of button-mashing with beat-em-ups; that is, if you do it, you win. A few button-mash wins will cause them to think they’re skilled players, but once she starts trying to learn the moves, you’ll crush her every time, and she’ll cry again (see #2).

5. She does it for the dudes. Maybe this girl actually likes to play video games. And maybe someday I’ll live in a bouncy castle and eat hamburgers for every meal. But she does it mainly because guys think it’s cool, and is actually terrible at video games (see #2 and #4). This girl probably also "likes" football, baseball, basketball, paintball, beer, violent movies involving zombies, and firearms, but knows absolutely nothing about them.

6. She says she’s a gamer, but what she means is about ten years ago, she used to make a Sim of herself WooHoo with a Sim of her crush, and then set his Sim house on fire. This girl is not actually a gamer, and is, in all likelihood, insane.

7. She says she’s a gamer, but the only games she plays are on PopCap and other websites.Not only will she waste your time by getting you addicted to some niblet of a game like Kitten Cannon, she actually thinks this is gaming, which means she’s just a terribly confused human being.

8. She’ll really put the RPG in MMORPG. Running around as a naked night elf damsel-in-distress who’s had her armor stolen and getting attention from the Stormwind sausagefest will be all well and good in the game, but ask her to do it in the bedroom and then there’s just something WRONG with you.

9. If your girlfriend is playing video games with you, there is no one to bring you sandwiches and energy drinks. And if she stays the night and you both are awake until 3 AM playing Call of Duty, there is no one to wake up and make pancakes. Already you’re out two meals. Do you want to starve to death?

10. If your girl gamer fits none of these descriptions, that means she is probably also a supermodel and a rocket scientist, and is therefore a perfect human being. You do not deserve her and will eventually break up, but video games and sex will be inextricably linked in your mind forever after all those games of Strip TF2, and you won’t be able to turn on your console without getting a boner. Happy gaming!
Written by GamerPaper’s favourite girl gamer, Casey Johnston!

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An excellent article by Maya on her Blog – “Money is on my mind a lot these days. It is the first time in years that I am not bringing a pay check home. We are paying our bills, thanks to my husband having a job, but I never imagined I’d ever go this long without contributing to the family income (or cash-flow) …” Read more here – Are you rich but unhappy? Or poor and happy Or something else?

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We’ve all heard this advice before. It’s great advice, though not many people truly take it to heart.

But sometimes doing what you love isn’t enough to keep you going. Inspiration, passion, and motivation are difficult things to hold on to. They always seem to slip away right when you need them most.

You know that feeling. Where you’re that close to finishing a project, or achieving a goal, or crossing a task off your to-do list … but you just can’t muster the energy. You’ve lost interest. You’re exhausted. Drained. And you don’t know why.

That’s burnout. It’s something many of us are all too familiar with. I’d like to share with you a few ways that I fight burnout – or prevent it from catching me in the first place.

1. Achieve in increments. When you only focus on a big goal someday, it’s easy to get burned out by the daily grind. It’s like driving toward a mountain in the distance. You can drive for hours, but the mountain doesn’t seem to get any closer. And spinning your wheels gets real tiring real fast.

The solution is to give yourself a way to measure and record every little step forward you take. Here’s how:

• Get a journal, notebook, or calendar. Writing things down is important.
• Identify milestones on the road towards your goal.If you’re writing a book, you could treat each chapter as one milestone. Or, even better, treat each 500 words or 1000 words as a milestone.
• If milestones aren’t obvious, create them. For example, if you’re training for a marathon, hold yourself to a progression of distance. If you start out running at your maximum distance, you’ll plateau very quickly. Instead, start at a shorter distance – even if it’s very easy for you – then work your way up slowly.
• Track milestones in a simple, visual format. Think of the progress bar on a download. One glance tells you exactly how much progress has been made. The format you choose doesn’t need to be detailed or comprehensive. It just needs to show that you’re moving forward day by day.

Learn to appreciate the little accomplishments. Let yourself enjoy the feeling of getting things done.
2. Train your muse. One of the biggest myths about inspiration that it’s random. One day you’re inspired and motivated, the next day you’re burned out – and there’s no way around it. Or so they say.

In fact, inspiration is just like any other skill. It may start out as unreliable, but it can be trained and developed into something you can rely on.

So how do you train your muse? The best way I’ve found is immersion. Surround yourself with things that inspire you and reflect your goals. Great composers listen to music. Great authors read voraciously. Great marketers attend seminars. Great productivity-ists subscribe to Zen Habits. And so on. Immersion trains your mind to work efficiently in the ways you need it to.

The more that your inspiration becomes a part of your life, the less likely it is to run out when you need it most. With that in mind, be creative. What ways can you connect with your inspiration on a daily basis?

3. Work less. Cut down on the amount of energy and time you spend working. If you have sick days or vacation days left, take advantage of them. Or, if you’re self-employed, force yourself to work fewer hours each day – even if that means turning down new projects.

Working less doesn’t mean you have to slack off or get less done. It does mean that you:

• Eliminate unnecessary tasks.
• Take strategic breaks.
• Stop multi-tasking.
• Seek help from other people.

4. Define success realistically. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having big dreams and big ambitions. But if you’re constantly frustrated by a lack of progress, it might be time to take a step back and examine your goals. Are they achievable? Are you holding yourself to a reasonable timeline?

Here’s a good way to do this. Get a piece of paper and write down your big, ambitious goal. Then write down at least 10 specific, concrete steps that will allow you to achieve that goal. Be as detailed as possible. If you can’t come up with a series of down-to-earth steps to get you from here to your dream, that’s a sign that you need to either redefine your goals or rethink the way you’re pursuing those goals.

5. Get more sleep. You’ve heard this before, I know. So have I. But that didn’t stop me from going against my better judgment and tiring myself out by staying up late to work. Getting enough sleep takes a conscious decision – and, just like any good habit, takes time to develop.

One of the biggest barriers for me in this area is procrastination. I have a tendency to put things off throughout the day, then stay up later as a result. What’s keeping you from getting the rest you need?

6. Take it slow(er). The world tells us to rush things: “Get there faster. Make money quicker. Retire sooner.” And while these things aren’t necessarily bad, they can easily get us in over our heads. If you’re feeling burned out and overwhelmed, it’s time to slow down.

A few ways to take yourself out of 24/7 high gear:

• Spend at least 10 minutes a day in a quiet place, away from distractions. Breathe.
• Put together a playlist of slow, relaxing music. Listen to it whenever you start feeling frazzled.
• Take a butcher knife to your to-do list. Set a limit to the number of tasks you  take on each day and stick to it.
• Extend your deadlines. Do you absolutely, positively have to get this done now? Just remember – this isn’t an excuse to procrastinate.

7. Get a second opinion. It’s hard to spot burnout from the inside. Your close friends and family are likely to identify the signs of burnout long before you do. So listen to what they’re saying. The next time your spouse, parent, or best friend tells you you’re working too hard, take it seriously.

8. Set clear boundaries. Burnout happens when we allow work to overflow its boundaries and interfere with every other part of our lives. So set strong boundaries. The clearer the better. In writing, if possible.

For example, instead of saying: “I’ll spend at three hours every night with my family,” make it clearer: “I won’t work after 8 o’clock. That’s 100% family time.” Clear boundaries are easier to stick to and harder to rationalize away.

Once you’ve set up your boundaries, make them public. Let your family know that you’ve set aside time just for them. They’ll hold you accountable to your promises. Let your clients know that you’ll be unavailable during certain hours. This will reduce the temptation to fudge on your boundaries.

9. When you’re working, focus. I’ve found that concentrating on work is actually less exhausting than allowing yourself to be wishy-washy about it. When you decide that it’s time to work, buckle down, eliminate distractions, and do it wholeheartedly. There’s something amazingly refreshing about pure, sharp focus.

10. Create outlets. If you’re a person of diverse interests (and really, who isn’t?), it’s likely that you have several very different goals and ideas bouncing around in your head at any given time. These ideas need outlets. If you hold them inside, they’ll eventually start interfering with your focus and creating unnecessary frustration, leading to burnout.

In other words, I think it’s okay – healthy, even – to start a few side projects as outlets for creative energy. Just make sure that you keep your priorities straight and your side projects fun. If these side projects become sources of stress, cut them out immediately.

11. Know when to power through it. This is going to sound out of place given what I’ve said above, but it’s powerful – if applied correctly. Sometimes the solution for burnout is just to power through it. Sometimes burnout can be an illusion. In these cases, the best choice is to refuse to use burnout as an excuse, ignore the fact that you feel burned out, and just work through it. It’s like a runner gaining her second wind and coming out stronger on the other side.

However, just as an experienced athlete knows when to push through the pain and when to pull back, you’ll need to be very careful how you take this particular piece of advice. Until you develop a keen awareness of your own tendencies, it’s usually better to err on the side of caution and pull back when you start feeling burned out.

12. Never accept defeat. Burnout is an obstacle like any other. It can hold you back for a while, but it’s not the end of the world – unless you let it defeat you.

If you have a great goal in mind, don’t give up on it, no matter how apathetic, exhausted, or frustrated you might feel. If everything I’ve said up until this point fails, do this: hold on to your dream – even if it doesn’t feel like much of a dream at the moment. Hold on to it anyway. That way, when the storm clears, your dream will still be intact, ready for another try.

Get more inspiration from Jeffrey at his blog, The Art of Great Things

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Tricia Smith has dated online for several years and says she prefers to meet soon after making contact online.

Photograph by: Wayne Cuddington, The Ottawa Citizen, Canwest News Service

The "perfect" date was a long time coming. After spending months online getting to know Josh, Annie decided he was her type and she was ready to meet him.

But Annie, not her real name, found that happiness could turn into heartbreak almost as quick as the click of a mouse.

She became increasingly anxious after plans to meet Josh were set, but when the day came and the date got underway, her nervousness melted away. The date was, in Annie’s words, "quite perfect."

The second date was less so. Instead of picking up where the first date left off, Josh took a bold step forward and discussed sexual fantasies. At Annie’s urging, conversation eventually returned to topics she felt were more fitting for a second date. Feeling the last half of that date was again "quite perfect," Annie was pretty confident when the two parted ways and said, "see you soon."

But Josh must have been on a different page. Not long after that second date, Josh called Annie, told her he’d met someone else around the same time and "decided to go with that instead." They never saw each other again.

This isn’t the only time Annie, 26, would spend months online with one man, only to be rejected shortly after meeting them in person.

"You start to wonder," Annie says. "Maybe I’m not worth it. Maybe I’m not good enough."

Annie is one of millions of people who have relocated their search for love — or lust — from the streets to the Internet. Her profile was on eHarmony, a site that boasts 20 million registered users from more than 200 countries.

Twenty million profiles is a lot of choice — and a lot of opportunities to get burned.

No one, save maybe for the masochists among us, likes rejection. Rejection hurts. And as Internet dating has become destigmatized over the past several years, millions of people have started casting nets into the massive, virtual online sea. Sure, these dating waters can offer a new world of opportunities for someone’s romantic life. But they can also open the door to new ways of being rejected.

An increasing number of clients who visit Montreal-based psychotherapist Cerise Morris come to her with stories of their online dating escapades.

She has heard countless tales of pain and suffering, and of joy and laughter. Morris says if you get attached too quickly, she said, you could be setting yourself up to be hurt.

In Annie’s mind, the man she is chatting with and sending messages to is part of her life.

"For me, I’ll only meet someone I’m genuinely interested in," she says. "So when I’m communicating with someone and we’re messaging, and we’ve been doing that for a few months, I’m really trying to get to know the person."

This approach to online dating — where you feel as though you’re getting to know someone and they’ve become a part of your life — is one that’s likely to land your ego in the dumps, Morris warns. When two people get in touch online, neither should feel as though they’re in a relationship or that they’re getting to know the other person, she says.

"There’s something ephemeral about communicating that way, without being face-to-face," Morris says, explaining that an Internet-based relationship can often be fleeting and illusory.

"Somewhere in that cyber world, people are more free to try and say things they wouldn’t otherwise," she says. "Who you are online can be very different than who you are in real life."

Tricia Smith, 35, has been dating online for several years. She says she doesn’t have a single tale of rejection from her years on Lavalife or Plenty of Fish.

Sure, she has had surprises, but she takes it all in stride, she said. She’s able to do this, she said, because she approaches online dating with "realistic frame of mind," and doesn’t hold any expectations for people she doesn’t know.

When Smith is contacted through her online profile, she never spends much time sending messages back and forth with a man.

"You don’t get to know anything about a person that way," she said. "We’ve all got egos and vanity. Everybody will look as good as they can, sound as smart and witty as possible and, basically, put their best foot forward."

With this in mind, Smith said she prefers to meet up in a face-to-face date as quickly as possible. Then she will decide if she likes him.

"There’s no point in spending so much time with messages and chats," she said. "You need to realize that guy who looks like he’s gorgeous and has an amazing body… that photo can be five years old," she says. "He might have a massive spare tire and lost all his hair in the meantime."

And the fallacies can go beyond physical appearances, Smith said.

"It happens a lot of the time, where people come off amazing in e-mails and instant messages, but then their personality totally falls flat when you get to them in person," she said.

"When you read something they write, you might think it’s a sarcastic joke because that’s how your mind works. But really, that person was serious, they’re a bigot, and you actually find them quite offensive."

Smith’s realistic approach to online dating is echoed in the guidance and advice Morris often gives her clients.

"Meeting someone in the flesh is so important," Morris said. "In person, there are so many cues we pick up. When the Internet is standing between two people, neither has the opportunity to pick up on body language or pheromones or anything."

- – -

Steps to Online Dating Success

Here are some points to keep in mind while travelling through the online dating circuit:

- If you find someone’s profile interesting, send them an e-mail. If you don’t get an answer, you can send them another within a few days. If they still don’t get back to you, let it go and move on to the next person.

- Casually chatting with a few people online at the same time isn’t taboo. If you prefer chatting with one person at a time, consider mentioning it to the person you’re communicating with.

- It is considered taboo to leave your profile active once you’ve started dating someone. When things start to look serious, remove your profile.

- Don’t plan three dates before you’ve even had one. Try not to make any commitments before actually meeting a person. If it turns out the person’s not exactly your cup of tea, you can end up hurting them when you break the plans.

- The adage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" stands in the online world. Even though you’re communicating through tubes and satellites, you’re still communicating with real people who have real feelings.

- Don’t forget there are dishonest people online. Sometimes married people pose as singles; people can lie about their sex, sexual orientation, age, weight and height … for a couple of examples.

- Also, don’t forget if you lie, you’ll probably get caught. Your date will likely notice the six-inch difference in height and 30 pounds in weight.

- Beware of online predators who join dating sites to leach personal information.

- Most sites have a membership fee that’s required to gain full access to the site. Some offer free trial periods, but begin charging without notice once the trial period ends.

- Check the ratio of men to women on different sites you’re considering joining. Sometimes the gender ratio can be pretty off-balance.

- Some sites have been rumoured to have "bait profiles." These are fake profiles set up to lure users into using a particular service.

© Copyright (c) The Ottawa Citizen

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As a first-time entrepreneur, raising the money to launch launch a medical device was a significant undertaking.

I am not only a first-time entrepreneur, but I chose to start a company in an unfamiliar field. I have a background in linguistics, but my company develops medical technology for stroke rehabilitation.

So I started this endeavor with two strikes against me. This month, I will close my Series A round, and my first product was launched this summer, a rehabilitation device that improves arm function in survivors of stroke and other brain injury. Here is how I was able to attract investment:

• Humility — Everyone knows something I don’t. Why wouldn’t I want to learn from them? I am thankful that people care enough about me to offer their advice and give me their time. I’m sure they have other things to do, but they’ve chosen to spend this part of their day with me, and I’m going to listen to what they have to say.

• Be nice to everyone, all the time — I’ve met people everywhere who might turn out to be investors or important advisors. You never know when someone is going to help you, it could be weeks or even YEARS away, but you want them to remember you fondly, and to want to help you succeed.

• Meet with everyone who asks — Especially early on, I met with everyone who requested a meeting with me. And I didn’t mind asking each person for something — a referral, a market report, scientific data I couldn’t afford to buy, business advice. Some of those casual meetings turned into major investments later.

• Enter business plan competitions — I entered, and won, a few business plan competitions. In addition to winning cash for my business, I made a lot of contacts, got some very positive press, and got a TON of free advice about my business plan.

• Let people get to know you — All of my investors were strangers to me when I started this company. But I sought them out in the beginning as advisors, and spent time with them over months and years, talking about progress I’ve made and where I’m headed. It helped to build trust and credibility, and they eventually invested.

• Be patient — Every single aspect of this business has taken a lot longer than I thought it would. But so far everything has happened exactly as expected, just at a different time.

• Surround yourself with supportive people — This is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. I needed all the courage I could muster, and support from friends and family. I dropped friends who couldn’t support me, and found new ones who understood. It made a difference.

• Keep your business plan current — This seems obvious but it’s harder than you think. Almost every month STILL I take time to update my business plan. You never know when you’ll need to email it to someone, or enter it into a business plan competition, or use parts of it for a grant or loan application.

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Even the introverts amongst us – myself included! – are social beings. It’s natural for us to pay attention to what other people might be thinking. The problem is, worrying about what other people think can lead us to take on too many commitments, deny our true goals and passions, settle for a life of “people-pleasing”.
On the other hand, paying no heed at all to how others might be thinking of us can lead to professional and personal relationships turning sour.
Here are some steps that’ll help you find a healthy balance.

Step 1: Pay Attention – But Don’t Worry

Worrying rarely gets you anywhere in life. Don’t spend time feeling unhappy or anxious about how others might be thinking of you. Try not to let your emotions cloud the issue here, and don’t spend time trying to “mind-read” other people.
You’re often your own worst critic – and frankly, most people have far too much on your minds to care whether you’re slightly over/under-dressed for a situation, for instance.

Step 2: Does Their Opinion Matter?

Stop caring what random strangers think of you. If you like to sing as you walk round your local park, and someone passing gives you a weird look – it really doesn’t matter. Their opinion isn’t going to affect you in any way.
The same goes for all sorts of situations. For example, a problem that many overweight people have when they’re trying to get in shape is that they’d like to go to the gym or to an exercise class, but they’re worried what people will think of them. Ask yourself “can what they think hurt me?” or “does their opinion matter?” until you feel confident enough to go ahead with what you want.

Step 3: Use the Feedback

If you get a negative reaction from a key figure in your life, like your boss, then pay attention. If your boss is fanatical about keeping a tidy desk and you couldn’t care less, it’s worth adjusting your behaviour – especially if your boss scowls every time s/he sees your desk.
Don’t make assumptions about what other people are thinking, though: make sure you really do have evidence. In the absence of any real evidence, try assuming the best! For example, if someone sends you a rather curt email, assume that they were just in a hurry – don’t start worrying over whether they dislike you.

Step 4: Put Your Goals First

Perhaps you have very different goals to your family and friends. Perhaps you’re keen to get a great grade in school, but your friends think you should just join them in partying and having a laugh. It doesn’t really matter what they think: your goals should be more important than their opinion.
The same goes for all sorts of situations. Maybe you’ve ended up in a career you hate because it’s what your parents wanted you to do. Your goals should never be dictated by other people.
(If you don’t have any explicit goals, that might be why you’re prone to worrying about what other people think – because you don’t have your own plan for your life. You might want to read 11 Useful Tips on Setting Goals and Achieving Them.)

Step 5: Value Your Values

If other people scoff at your values, ignore them. Perhaps you’d like to read more about personal development and self-improvement, but you’re worried your friends would just laugh at you if they found out. Maybe you’re keen to do your best at work even when the boss is away – but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot for not joining them in slacking off.
Whatever the situation, make sure you’re holding tight to your values, rather than being swept along by other people’s. Many people will actually be impressed (even if they don’t say so) – because you’ve had the conviction to stick to what you believe is important.

Step 6: Remember That You Don’t Have to be Popular

Life isn’t like high school: it doesn’t matter if you’re not popular. You can’t please everyone anyway – so don’t even try. Say “no” to commitments that you don’t want to take on. Be willing to do something that goes against the crowd, if it’s what you truly believe in.

Of course, there are a few people in life who you might want to be popular with – your spouse, your kids, and your boss, for example. But in general, most people’s opinions and thoughts about you are unlikely to have any real effect. Plus, if you behave as “yourself” and people don’t like you – would you really want them to be your friends anyway?

Do you find yourself worrying about what other people think? How do you work past these worries? Are there times when it is appropriate to pay attention to how other people think about you?